- 1x sofa
- 2x children
Say ‘yes’ when the three-year-old asks ‘Mummy, can my make a mess?’ Watch from a safe distance as the sofa gets dismembered and the floor disappears. Hand dustpan and brush to sweep up sofa crumbs to whichever child gets to you first – this is an oddly desirable job and is hotly contested. Experience slight terror as the oldest leaps from the sofa arms onto a precarious tower of cushions and the toddler uses the sofa base as a trampoline. Who will survive the longest, the sofa or the kids? Escape to the kitchen to eat cake in secret whilst checking Facebook. Repeat about three times a day, having tried in vain to tidy up and rediscover the floor or sit on the sofa in between.
Five boxes of toys left untouched. Two happy children….must be missing something here. Maybe I’ll just buy them a stack of cushions for Christmas. Or helmets. Or a new sofa……